Having paid 70p a finger I wasn't for backing out of my manicure but come on...the cuticle ploughing was a bit extreme. I won't go into the sensations of rough buffing. I should have been more wary of the little roll of steel tools and the fact she was sure the Stone of Destiny was a horror film. I take it all back about Cheryl Cole she is probably just smarting from daily trips to the beauty parlour. They use real chemicals you know.
My fingernails are rock hard though, I'd win any catfight right now. It'd be better if they glowed in the dark or something. If we're going to drag up by rubbing paraffin all over our face and spraying ourselves with formaldehyde why not go all out for the chemicals? What about lipstick with anaesthetic for kissing millionaire pensioners? Or moisturiser that turns you into a battery for your ipod?
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